Claudio Lessa em 45 segundos
Claudio Lessa in 45 seconds

In essence, I present the petralha un-government in three acts. First, the gang alleges lack of money and does not pay the first half of the so-called 13th salary to pensioners and retired persons. Second, the Cassava Queen gives 500 million reais (approximately 150 million dollars) to politicians in exchange for their support at this near-impeachment time. Third, while doing everything wrong with the economy, the Woman-Sapiens gang has no shame: starts talking about a new (and dreaded) tax, known in Brazil as CPMF (it collects 0,38% of every bank transaction), expecting to raise some 83 billion reais (approximately 23 billion dollars). As it happened before (this tax has already been repealed once), the money that was supposed to be channeled to the Health Ministry was diverted to pay for everything else but health. No, not again!

Desorientada? Não, Apenas Cínica…
Clueless? No, only cynical…

dil_bull

A ex-presidente em exercício, também conhecida na intimidade como Mulher-Sapiens, finge ser sem-noção, mas na verdade é uma mentirosa descarada, sem vergonha, uma cínica. Ela sabe perfeitamente que o Brasil não é respeitado no exterior por coisa alguma. O povo brasilieiro é alvo de gozação — especialmente por ter colocado no comando da nação uma quadrilha criminosa chefiada por brancaleones que, cada vez mais, afundam o país, sua economia, sua ética, sua moral, seus costumes, seu futuro. O cinismo é ainda maior quando ela se refere ao processo comprovadamente fraudulento utilizado na escolha dos representantes do povo — este, sim, completamente sem-noção. Como já disse alguém, o voto eletrônico no Brasil é tão secreto, mas tão secreto que… você vota num candidato e a máquina registra sua escolha em outro, para que ninguém fique sabendo.

Former president (still) in charge Dilma Roussff, also known as The Woman-Sapiens, pretends to be clueless. However, she truly is a shameless, cynical liar. She knows perfectly well that Brazil is not respected abroad for anything whatsoever. The Brazilian people is also a target of mockery — especially for having chosen a criminal organization headed by morons to manage the country. More and more, they manage to royally screw the country, its economy, its ethics, its morals, its rules, its future. The cynicism is even greater when they refer to the proven fraudulent system used for choosing the people’s representatives — the people being truly clueless. As someone has already said, the electronic vote in Brazil is so secret, so secret that… you vote for a candidate but the machine registers your choice for someone else, so no one finds out who your candidate really was.

Oremos!…
Let us pray!…

beto

Antes mesmo de ler essa notícia da Folha de S.Paulo, o Blog do Lessa reza, contrito e fervorosamente, para que Deus ilumine os dois neurônios existentes na cabeça da Mulher-Sapiens de forma a que isso ocorra o mais rápido possível. Amém.

Even before reading this story on Folha de S.Paulo newspaper, The Lessa Blog, contrite and fervently prays: “May God enlighten the only two existing neurons in the Woman-Sapiens head, so she can make this decision as early as possible. Amen.
(The headline says that leftist Fr. Betto, Dilma’s friend, fears her resignation, not the impeachment.)

O Sucesso Retumbante do Panelaço
Pot-banging’s striking success

As primeiras informações sobre o panelaço promovido há poucos minutos pelos cidadãos brasileiros em todo o território nacional foi um retumbante sucesso. Uma coisa, no entanto, chamou a atenção de todos os que registraram o evento: quando Dilma, a Mulher-Sapiens, e Lula, o Brahma, colocaram suas caras no vídeo, a intensidade do barulho aumentou consideravelmente. Agora, todos concentrados para a mega-manifestação do próximo dia 16, domingo.
O Blog do Lessa mais uma vez enfatiza a necessidade de que todos saiam de casa e compareçam aos locais designados. Essa manifestação está programada para ser maior do que todas as outras juntas.

The initial reports on the pot-banging event (“panelazo”) that took place a few minutes ago tonight in Brazil’s entire territory are that it was a striking success. One thing, however, was noticed by those who were in charge of reporting the event: when Dilma, the Woman-Sapiens and Lula, the “Brahma” (number 1 criminal) appeared on the screen, the noise intensity raised considerably. Now, everyone is focused on the mega-demonstration programmed for Sunday, August 16.
The Lessa Blog once again stressed the need for everyone to leave their homes and take part in the events at the designated areas in each city. This demonstration is set to be larger than all the previous ones combined.

Não Custa Repetir…
It’s worth remembering…

dirceu_dilma

Esse papo de blindagem não cola — pelo menos, não cola mais. Dilma, a Mulher-Sapiens, teve conhecimento de todo o esquema desde o início, quando era ministra das Minas e Energia, presidente do Conselho de Administração da Petrobras, chefe da Casa Civil e posteriormente presidente da República. Mesmo que ela não tenha levado dinheiro na proporção do outros, ela é cúmplice, conivente, parte integrante e beneficiária direta do esquema.

This talk of “shielding” Dilma to avoid the administration from being contaminated does not stick — at least, not anymore. Dilma, the Woman-Sapiens, had knowledge of the complete scheme since its inception, when she was the head of Mines and Energy Ministry, then president of Petrobras’ Board of Directors, then Lula’s Chief of Staff and later president herself. Even if she didn’t take money in the same proportion as everyone else involved, she is an accomplice, she is an accessory, she is an integral part and direct beneficiary of the scheme.
(The picture above is from Folha de S.Paulo newspaper’s website)

Ofélia, a Mulher-Sapiens
Ophelia, the woman-sapiens

This video is in Brazilian Portuguese. In essence, I compare the current occupant of the Planalto Palace to “Ophelia”, a character who was very famous in TV’s comedy shows. Ophelia would always say the most stupid things, never realizing what she was doing, while driving her husband nuts. Ophelia-Dilma is now the snapshot of this crumbling un-administration.

Inacreditável! Visto em Brasília, D.F.!
Unbelievable! Seen in Brasilia, D.F.!

fica

É inacreditável ver uma coisa dessas a essa altura, mas o adesivo colado no vidro do carro revela sem sombra de dúvida que Dilma Rousseff, a “Mulher-Sapiens”, “Rainha da Mandioca”, dona de impressionantes 7,7% de apoio popular, está mesmo de saída. Finalmente. Amém.
(O carro, certamente, deve pertencer a alguém que depende desesperadamente de uma boquinha do desgoverno petralha. E se depender da “força do povo”, ela não tem a menor chance.)

At this point in time, it is simply unbelievable to see something like this, but the sticker on the window’s car reveals without a doubt that Dilma Rousseff, the “Woman-Sapiens”, the “Cassava Queen”, with her amazing 7,7% approval rate, is really on her way out. Finally. Amen.
(The car certainly belongs to someone who desperately depends on the petralha un-government to survive. And… if Dilma needs the “people’s power”, as the sticker says, she doesn’t stand a chance.)

A Dívida Escondida
The hidden debt

A informação vem da coluna “Diário do Poder”, do xará Claudio Humberto: na prestação de contas que deverá ser rejeitada pelo Tribunal de Contas da União, o desgoverno da Rainha da Mandioca “escondeu” dívidas de 270 milhões de reais junto a bancos oficiais. Foi uma tentativa de camuflar ou de “apagar as provas” do crime de pedaladas fiscais, que consiste em fazer dos bancos oficiais financiadores de programas sociais do governo. Esse é um crime punido pela Lei de Responsabilidade Fiscal. O crime das pedaladas é tão claro, para os técnicos e ministros do TCU, que não há clima para nem sequer uma “aprovação com ressalvas.” Um defensor do desgoverno no TCU tenta convencer os colegas a substituir a palavra “rejeição” por outra mais amena. No entanto, o tribunal pretende usar a rejeição das contas da Mulher-Sapiens para demonstrar independência. O desgoverno petralha alega que as pedaladas são praticadas desde 1992. Só que, de lá para cá, surgiu a Lei de Responsabilidade Fiscal.

The information comes from the “Power Daily” column, from my namesake Claudio Humberto: in the accounting to be rejected by the TCU (the Brazilian equivalent to the U.S. General Accounting Office), the (un)administration of the Cassava Queen “hid” debts in the amount of 270 million reais (roughly 85 million dollars) from official banks. It was an attempt to mask or to “erase the evidences” of the crime of illegal fiscal maneuvers — more specifically, the use of money from official banks to finance the (un)government’s social programs. This is a crime punished by the Fiscal Responsibility Act. This crime is so clearly demonstrated in the balance sheets that, according to technicians and justices of the Brazilian GAO, there is not even a chance of approving the accounting “with reservations”. One of the TCU justices in tune with the (un)administration has been trying to convince his colleagues to replace the word “rejection” by some other expression considered less harsh. However, the court intends to use the rejection of the Woman-Sapiens accounting to demonstrate its independence. The petralha (un)administration claims that the illegal maneuvers have been in place since 1992, but it (conveniently) forgets the creation of the Fiscal Responsibility Act, though.

A Ameaça Militar da Venezuela Bolivariana
Bolivarian Venezuela’s military threat

Diante da iminente queda do desgoverno de Dilma, a Bonequinha de Luxo, Mulher-Sapiens, Rainha da Mandioca (são tantos os títulos honoríficos…) e do completo desaparecimento do PT como força política, surgem as ameaças de ação militar bolivariana em defesa da quadrilha atualmente instalada no Palácio do Planalto. O Blog do Lessa flagrou um treinamento do exército venezuelano, que se prepara para entrar em ação caso haja mudanças no comando da política brasileira.

Along with reports of the imminent demise of Dilma’s (the Hepburn from Hell, the Woman-Sapiens, the Cassava Queen — oh, so many honorary titles…) un-government and of the complete obliteration of the Workers Party as a viable political force, there are now threats of bolivarian military action to defend the criminal gang currently occupying the Planalto Palace. The Lessa Blog caught some Venezuelan military in training as they get ready to take action if, indeed, there are any real changes in Brazilian politics.

Não se Engane: Acabou
Don’t be fooled: it’s over

Nada como almoçar com quem sabe das coisas e tem acesso às pessoas certas. A verdade é que, para todos os efeitos e apesar das bravatas de fim-de-festa de nossa Rainha da Mandioca, a farra acabou para ela e sua gang petralha. As conversas entre políticos agora só tratam de cargos a serem ocupados no pós-Dilma. Já existe até um ministério paralelo com nomes de peso, aguardando a posse, depois dessa transição lá não muito silenciosa. Tudo depende agora de como se dará a negociação entre PMDB, que empurra a Mulher-Sapiens para o abismo, e o PSDB, a dolente Oposição de Sofá que gostaria de ver tudo cair no seu colo sem o mínimo esforço. As negociações entre os dois partidos seguem em três vertentes: o apoio do PSDB a um próximo governo Temer, desde que somente a Bonequinha de Luxo caia fora; o apoio do PMDB a um eventual governo tucano, que chegaria ao Planalto após a cassação do diploma da chapa Dilma-Temer; e finalmente, um acerto entre PMDB-PSDB diante de uma eleição geral a ser convocada a partir do impeachment de Dilma e Temer.

Nothing like having lunch with the right people, those who are in the know and have access to the “right” people. The truth of the matter is that, for all practical purposes and despite the last-minute bravado by the Cassava Queen, the party is over for her and the rest of the petralha gang. Talks among politicians now are dealing only with posts to be filled during the post-Dilma. There is a parallel cabinet, already, with names defined for each cabinet seat, just waiting the end of this not-so-silent transition. All depends now on the negotiations between PMDB, the party pushing the Woman-Sapiens over the cliff, and PSDB, the lazy Sofa Opposition that would love to see everything falling on its lap with no effort on its part whatsoever. Negotiations between the two parties follow three leads: 1. the PSDB support to a Temer administration, as long as only the “Hepburn from Hell” is thrown out; 2. the PMDB support to a possible tucano (PSDB) administration that would fill in the gap after the Dilma-Temer presidential diploma is legally voided; and 3. an understanding between PMDB and PSDB to share the spoils if a general election is held three months after the Dilma-Temer impeachment.

O Acaso Não Existe
“Random” does not exist

dolor3Certamente você já viu a Rainha da Mandioca, Mulher-Sapiens, em diversas situações onde a única saída minimamente compreensível seria a internação imediata num manicômio judiciário. As frases ditas por ela estão por toda a parte, sendo a do “cachorro atrás de uma criança”, talvez, a mais famosa e emblemática.
Pois bem agora, o Blog do Lessa, num furo exclusivo de reportagem, descobriu que o destrambelhamento mental da Bonequinha de Luxo tem raizes genéticas. Ex-vizinhos da sua casa, no bairro de São Pedro, em Belo Horizonte, onde Dilma “Devassa” Rousseff viveu na juventude, mantêm vivas até hoje as recordações da chamada “Casa do Piano”. Assim era chamada a casa da ex-presidente da República em exercício. A impressão dos ex-vizinhos era de que progenitora de Dilma “era, em geral, meio tan-tan”. Nota: o Blog do Lessa não pôde verificar essa condição de maneira independente.
Os relatos dão conta de que, durante o dia, a casa permanecia silenciosa. À noite, no entanto, a mãe da Rainha da Mandioca começava a tocar piano — e, segundo os testemunhos, tocava bem, especialmente peças clássicas. O problema é que ela tocava a noite inteira, perturbando o sono dos vizinhos. Daí veio o apelido “Casa do Piano”. Agora, portanto, já se tem uma pista sobre a falta de parafusos na cabeça da chefe interina da Orcrim.

You must have seen several situations where the Cassava Queen, a.k.a. Woman-Sapiens, would only have one way out: immediate admission to a state-controlled mental hospital. All the crazy sentences she has uttered are everywhere — perhaps the most famous and emblematic so far could be the one about “the dog behind the child.”
Well… now The Lessa Blog has discovered and brings the information to you, exclusively, that the “Hepburn from Hell’s” mental screw-ups may have genetic basis. Former neighbors of the home where Dilma “Devassa” Rousseff used to live as a young girl, at the Sao Pedro borough in Belo Horizonte (Minas Gerais state), remember to this day the so-called “Piano House.” That’s how the the former president in exercise’s home was called. The general impression was that Dilma’s mother “had a few screws missing.” It should be noted that The Lessa Blog has not been able to verify that fact independently.
Former neighbors report that during the day, the house was usually silent. At night, however, the Cassava Queen’s mother started to play the piano. According to witnesses, she played it very well, especially classical music. The problem was that she kept playing the whole night long, disturbing the neighbors’ sleep. That’s how the nickname “Piano House” came up. Therefore, now one can have a solid clue about the number of screws missing in Dilma’s head.

Você Não Verá Isso na TV – 1
You Won’t See This on TV – 1

Essa foi a recepção que a Mulher-Sapiens, nome científico de Dilma “Devassa” Rousseff — a.k.a. Bonequinha de Luxo ou Rainha da Mandioca, teve de brasileiros nos Estados Unidos. Claro, as redes de TV aberta não mostraram, mas o Blog do Lessa está aí para preencher esse vazio para você, mantendo-o(a) bem informado(a).

This was the reception that the Woman-Sapiens, scientific name given to Dilma “Devassa”* Rousseff — a.k.a. Hepburn from Hell** or Cassava Queen***, had from Brazilians in the United States. Your TV’s regular programming didn’t show it, of course, but The Lessa Blog is here to fill in the blanks for you, so that you stay on top of what’s happening.

For those outside Brazil not knowing what the hell is going on around the country:
*She has been nicknamed “Devassa” because this is a brand of beer that matches former president Lula’s nickname (“Brahma”) discovered during the Car Wash investigations.
**Hepburn from Hell? This was because she stayed for a couple of nights at a St. Regis hotel suite in NYC for only… 11 thousand dollars a night.
***She has been nicknamed Cassava Queen (and Woman-Sapiens) for her most recent LSD-like statements in front of an audience. You can see two videos about this if you go down the blog’s timeline.

 

Apesar do Medo, a Arrogância
Arrogance, even in fear

dilma_bicycle

Observe a inversão de valores: enquanto os índices de popularidade de Dilma Roussef, a Mulher-Sapiens, caem abaixo do volume morto, aumentam as preocupações com sua segurança. A segurança de que ela dispõe, no entanto, não é a mesma com a qual os brasileiros comuns podem contar. Que o diga o médico carioca morto a facadas na margem da lagoa Rodrigo de Freitas quando andava de bicicleta. O médico salvava vidas, curava pessoas. A Mulher-Sapiens, acima, dilapida o Estado, destrói o futuro de milhões de brasileiros, acaba literalmente com a vida de muita gente. Ela, no entanto, dispõe de guarda-costas para passear com sua bicicleta importada, privilégio que o médico Jaime Gold não desfrutava. E… claro, a suprema arrogância: a Mulher-Sapiens começou a andar de bicicleta ostensivamente protegida logo depois que o médico foi assassinado — mais um tapa na cara do cidadão de bem. (Foto: Charles Scholl)

Take a look at how values are inverted here: while the popularity of Dilma Roussef, the Woman-Sapiens, falls freely, the worries about her security go through the roof. The security she enjoys, however, is not the same Brazilians elsewhere can count on. The Rio de Janeiro physician who was killed a few weeks ago while riding his bike around the Rodrigo de Freitas lake is one of them. Doctor Jaime Gold saved lives, cured people. The Woman-Sapiens, above, wrecks the State, destroys the future of millions of Brazilians, literally ends the life of a lot of people. However, she has bodyguards to go riding a bicycle, a privilege others like Jaime Gold did not have.  And, of course, the supreme arrogance: with ostensible protection, the Woman-Sapiens began to ride her bicycle a couple of days after Gold’s murder — one more slap on the face of each and every citizen who works hard and pays taxes to have nothing in return but corruption. (Photo: Charles Scholl)

Cortina de Fumaça
Smokescreen

A reação da tropa de choque brancaleone montada pela Mulher-Sapiens Dilma Rousseff, após a demolidora divulgação dos detalhes iniciais da delação premiada do empreiteiro Ricardo Pessoa, não passa de uma patética cortina de fumaça. Edinho Silva e José Eduardo Cardozo tiveram tempo para pensar no que dizer, mas não conseguiram mais do que o seguinte: disseram que Pessoa mentiu e que, por isso, pode perder os benefícios da delação premiada. Entretanto, para desespero dos petralhas, há planilhas, recibos, documentos e vídeos que comprovam o que o dono da UTC afirmou aos investigadores da Lava-Jato.

After preliminary — and demolishing — details of the plea bargain documents offered by Mr. Ricardo Pessoa have been made public, the reaction offered by the pathetic storm troopers enlisted by Dilma Rousseff, the Woman-Sapiens, is nothng short of a smokescreen. Mr. Edinho Silva (minister in charge of public affairs and himself accused of taking a lot of money in the imbroglio) and Mr. José Eduardo Cardozo (Justice minister) had a lot of time to think about what to say, but were able to come up only with the following: they said that Mr. Pessoa lied and for that reason he may lose the privileges obtained with the plea bargain. However, for the petralhas’ desperation, there are spreadsheets, receipts, documents and even videos to prove all the accusations Mr. Pessoa has delievered so far during the “Car Wash” investigation.