Bonequinha de Luxo

A Ameaça Militar da Venezuela Bolivariana
Bolivarian Venezuela’s military threat

Diante da iminente queda do desgoverno de Dilma, a Bonequinha de Luxo, Mulher-Sapiens, Rainha da Mandioca (são tantos os títulos honoríficos…) e do completo desaparecimento do PT como força política, surgem as ameaças de ação militar bolivariana em defesa da quadrilha atualmente instalada no Palácio do Planalto. O Blog do Lessa flagrou um treinamento do exército venezuelano, que se prepara para entrar em ação caso haja mudanças no comando da política brasileira.

Along with reports of the imminent demise of Dilma’s (the Hepburn from Hell, the Woman-Sapiens, the Cassava Queen — oh, so many honorary titles…) un-government and of the complete obliteration of the Workers Party as a viable political force, there are now threats of bolivarian military action to defend the criminal gang currently occupying the Planalto Palace. The Lessa Blog caught some Venezuelan military in training as they get ready to take action if, indeed, there are any real changes in Brazilian politics.

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Não se Engane: Acabou
Don’t be fooled: it’s over

Nada como almoçar com quem sabe das coisas e tem acesso às pessoas certas. A verdade é que, para todos os efeitos e apesar das bravatas de fim-de-festa de nossa Rainha da Mandioca, a farra acabou para ela e sua gang petralha. As conversas entre políticos agora só tratam de cargos a serem ocupados no pós-Dilma. Já existe até um ministério paralelo com nomes de peso, aguardando a posse, depois dessa transição lá não muito silenciosa. Tudo depende agora de como se dará a negociação entre PMDB, que empurra a Mulher-Sapiens para o abismo, e o PSDB, a dolente Oposição de Sofá que gostaria de ver tudo cair no seu colo sem o mínimo esforço. As negociações entre os dois partidos seguem em três vertentes: o apoio do PSDB a um próximo governo Temer, desde que somente a Bonequinha de Luxo caia fora; o apoio do PMDB a um eventual governo tucano, que chegaria ao Planalto após a cassação do diploma da chapa Dilma-Temer; e finalmente, um acerto entre PMDB-PSDB diante de uma eleição geral a ser convocada a partir do impeachment de Dilma e Temer.

Nothing like having lunch with the right people, those who are in the know and have access to the “right” people. The truth of the matter is that, for all practical purposes and despite the last-minute bravado by the Cassava Queen, the party is over for her and the rest of the petralha gang. Talks among politicians now are dealing only with posts to be filled during the post-Dilma. There is a parallel cabinet, already, with names defined for each cabinet seat, just waiting the end of this not-so-silent transition. All depends now on the negotiations between PMDB, the party pushing the Woman-Sapiens over the cliff, and PSDB, the lazy Sofa Opposition that would love to see everything falling on its lap with no effort on its part whatsoever. Negotiations between the two parties follow three leads: 1. the PSDB support to a Temer administration, as long as only the “Hepburn from Hell” is thrown out; 2. the PMDB support to a possible tucano (PSDB) administration that would fill in the gap after the Dilma-Temer presidential diploma is legally voided; and 3. an understanding between PMDB and PSDB to share the spoils if a general election is held three months after the Dilma-Temer impeachment.

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Você Não Verá Isso na TV – 1
You Won’t See This on TV – 1

Essa foi a recepção que a Mulher-Sapiens, nome científico de Dilma “Devassa” Rousseff — a.k.a. Bonequinha de Luxo ou Rainha da Mandioca, teve de brasileiros nos Estados Unidos. Claro, as redes de TV aberta não mostraram, mas o Blog do Lessa está aí para preencher esse vazio para você, mantendo-o(a) bem informado(a).

This was the reception that the Woman-Sapiens, scientific name given to Dilma “Devassa”* Rousseff — a.k.a. Hepburn from Hell** or Cassava Queen***, had from Brazilians in the United States. Your TV’s regular programming didn’t show it, of course, but The Lessa Blog is here to fill in the blanks for you, so that you stay on top of what’s happening.

For those outside Brazil not knowing what the hell is going on around the country:
*She has been nicknamed “Devassa” because this is a brand of beer that matches former president Lula’s nickname (“Brahma”) discovered during the Car Wash investigations.
**Hepburn from Hell? This was because she stayed for a couple of nights at a St. Regis hotel suite in NYC for only… 11 thousand dollars a night.
***She has been nicknamed Cassava Queen (and Woman-Sapiens) for her most recent LSD-like statements in front of an audience. You can see two videos about this if you go down the blog’s timeline.

 

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